


every minute and every hour

by murdershewrote



Series: girls against the world [1]
Category: Rogue One: A Star Wars Story (2016), Star Wars Original Trilogy
Genre: Alternate Universe - Backstory, Gen, Grief/Mourning, Growing Up, Handmaiden!Jyn, Handmaidens, Pre-Canon, Stand Alone, perceived character death
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-28
Updated: 2017-06-28
Packaged: 2018-11-19 23:55:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 877
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11324370
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/murdershewrote/pseuds/murdershewrote
Summary: At 16, with her name becoming too well-known, Saw gives Jyn a new way to fight the same war.Leia never forgives herself for allowing her handmaiden to die in her place.





	every minute and every hour

**Author's Note:**

> Title from “Good Grief” by Bastille.

In the wake of Alderaan and the Death Star, Leia selfishly misses Jyn. She needs time for herself but the Rebellion needs Princess Leia and now there is only one of her, no body double to take over so she can cry in peace. Jyn’s loss is an old ache that Leia doesn’t forget, even in the face of the fresh grief that threatens to consume her.

 

Jyn had been covering for Leia on a minor diplomatic mission. No real reason – Leia just wanted time to catch up on research and spend time with her family. Jyn, with her streak of wanderlust, had been only too happy to spend a week exploring some backwater and posing for the holonews. Leia had sent her off with a hug and a playful admonition not to do anything The Princess wouldn't do.

It was their running joke, referring to Her Majesty, Crown Princess Leia of Alderaan in the third person, as a costume Leia or Jyn could put on or take off. As far as Leia was concerned, Jyn was as much a princess and politician as she was. Force knows she'd spent enough time in tedious Senate meetings, and there was no one except her parents that Leia trusted as much.

Jyn had protested, saying she was no princess, but Leia was adamant. Eventually Leia squeezed a promise out of Jyn that if anything were to happen to Leia, Jyn would take over the mantle of The Princess fulltime. Jyn might hate it but she understood the importance of symbols and leaders. They were in this together, until the end of the road, but somehow Leia had never imagined Jyn dying.

Leia was aware of the constant threat of assassination, but it had somehow never occurred to her that Jyn might be targeted while playing Her Majesty, Princess Leia of Alderaan. But pirates, undoubtedly hired for political reasons, attack the diplomatic convoy and kill everyone on board. Jyn manages to get a message out, an emergency code that meant that Leia needs to be publically seen. Bemused, Leia attends the birthday of a notorious playboy, his mansion crawling with paparazzi, and wonders what Jyn got into this time.

The next day everyone is talking about the destroyed ship and how lucky it was Leia wasn't onboard. Leia, in a frozen state of grief and shock that will become familiar, answers on autopilot and retires as soon as appropriate to break down in private. Jyn is dead. For the first time Leia begins to understand the pure loathing of the Empire in the voices of her parents and Jyn. Leia had thought she had hated the Empire before, but it is nothing compared to the personal hate that fills her now.

After Jyn died, Leia stopped wearing elaborate dresses, not seeing the point anymore. With just one of her, there was no need to hide face changes behind makeup. The gossip rags were all over it, applauding her bold departure from the traditional elaborate robes or taking it as a political statement of her purity. Leia doesn't feel pure, especially not after getting her friend killed, and doesn't tell anyone that white is the traditional Alderaanian mourning color. It’s a relief to not have to wear the heavy gowns and hairpieces, but Leia would bear ten times that weight every day, if it meant she had Jyn back.

 

The ship is boarded and Jyn has only moments to make a decision. Instead of being taken captive, Jyn sends an SOS and destroys The Princess's clothes, taking on the identity of a pilot. She thanks the Force she did, when it becomes evident that Princess Leia was their target. Angry at losing their target and the resultant payout, the pirates round up the rest of them to sell. Jyn isn't sure whether she is better or worse off than the rest of them, delivered to Wobani in exchange for the price on Lianna Hallick's head.

The rebels come and she doesn't know what to think. They want her for her connection to Saw Gerrera, even though Bail is right there and he must recognize her. She wonders for a moment why, if all they need is her name and face, they don't send Leia in. After all, Leia had learned to mimic Jyn's mannerisms just as Jyn learned hers. Then she remembers that Leia is the princess and should probably not be sent into an active warzone. Jyn is expendable, Leia is not, as past events have shown. Also, Jyn always did a better princess than Leia did a criminal; Leia could lie just fine but she never got the hang of sinking into another persona. 

Jyn allows herself a few moments to be hurt that Leia knew she was alive and left her to rot in prison, before practicality reminds her that prison breaks are no easy task and if not for her connection to Saw they wouldn't have bothered. This war is so much bigger than just the two of them. Jyn’s imprisonment or death is a small price to pay if it means the end of the Empire. 

Still, in the face of a suicide mission, Jyn wishes she had a chance to see Leia one last time.

**Author's Note:**

> Please point out any grammar/spelling errors and let me know if I need to warn for anything else.
> 
> Blanket permission for transformative works and collections. 
> 
> I'm on [tumblr.](http://murdersshewrote.tumblr.com)


End file.
